What I learned from pitching my novel.

A few weeks ago my hubby gifted me a writers conference as some much needed stress relief.

It was a rushed drive to American Fork and a late registration, but I made it. Let me tell you as a side note, that this "little" three conference strong event was simply amazing. It was well organized. The teachers were great and every class was exactly what I needed to hear. I also won the grand prize (a 2011 Writers Market) which I am so stoked to use.

That isnt the real reason for this post tho.

The very last class of the day was open to "pitches" to the newly formed "AF Arts Council Press". I wanted to go to the "How to Write a Series" class but decided to see what an open pitch session was like. I'm glad I took that chance even if nothing comes of the pitch, I learned some valuable stuff.

We were invited into a nice office and asked to give our concact infromation.
Then one by one asked questions about our manuscripts. "What is your book about?" etc.

I only attended the afternoon pitch session so I don't know what the other session was like. But I will tell you what I saw and learned from my hour.

First, finish your book before pitching it. Stories and characters change as we write the book and might morph into something completely diferent before you type the end and then edit it.

Second, know all the "info": genre, targeted audience, word count, etc. Do the research it's worth the time.

Third, have an all ready established web presence (website/blog/facebook/twitter etc.) and know what goes into modern day marketing of books. Have marketing ideas thought out and a marketing plan in place. If you're going to have a platform, have it ready and know your subject.

Fourth, bring your stuff with you. I knew that pitches were happening at the conference but I thought they were reserved and an extra cost, which they usually are. I was also taking Eli with me and in the interest of "stuff" (baby, stroller, sling, diaper bag, and my pack) I only carried a notebook for notes and a few pages incase I found time to plot or had an idea. I was asked if I had any of my MS with me and I didn't. I gave my pitch from an old paper that had my old pitch paragraph from my query on it and I had to think hard to alter it to resemble more of what my current "rocking" query sounds like. I did at least have my business card with all of my web addresses (blog website facebook etc.) on it. From now on I will probably have a manilla envelope in my bag with the first three chapters, a synopsis, query letter, and business card. You can't be too prepared.

Fifth, be calm, drink some water (not too much) before the pitch, eat a few mints and relax. It's only your baby you're presenting to someone who has the potential and audacity to say they might be ugly. :)

Amie Borst and Free Critique Friday

You guys know all about my query success. And you guys know I owe alot of the success to my friends. Pendragon is the one who I worked with over and over to get the query to a decent state. She's an amazing plotter and what if player.

I heard about Amie through a friend's blog and heard about a contest she offered on her blog. For the first ten people that posted thier query in the comments on her blog she would give them a FREE critique.

Well of course I clicked straight over hoping that not all of the ten spots were gone. Well I was blessed, there were only five (I think) other querys posted. I posted mine and in a series of email conversations with Amie we polished the query until it shined. If you guys were wishing you'd seen this offer and sad you missed it........

Well you're in luck. Amie is offering a free query or first page critique every Friday. All you have to do is be brave enough to post material in her comments and hope she chooses you.

If you guys want to see what Amie did to my query go here and scroll down to my name (Michelle Jefferies). I promise you its worth the nerves to stick your neck out there.

Go on guys, Amie is really nice and she doesn't bite.

Book Academy and the query part 2.

I knew months ago that the Book Academy conference at UVU was coming up in September. I also thought that because I'd have a newborn and medical bills I'd just go next year. I felt really bad because I loved last years conference, but hey what do you do?

I saw a contest on Facebook where you could win one of two tickets to the conference and I entered. I thought, I can't win if I don't enter.

Well I won! I was so excited I screamed and woke the baby. LOL

After the heart palpitations slowed I had the distinct impression that I was going to make a connection or two there and that is why I won. I have been praying that I would work my butt off if I was just pointed in the right direction. I didn't tell anyone though because I didn't want to jinx it.

I found a babysitter for Noble and Thursday my hubby drove me to Orem and Elias and I went to the Book Academy Conference. I registered and then found my friends Cheri Chesley and Melissa Cunningham and sat by them. Well about 10 minutes later Lisa Mangum from Deseret Book and BRANDON MULL of "Fablehaven" fame sat at our table. I was so excited.

After a great opening message I bought one of a few "Chocolate Never Faileth" books by Annette Lyon and went to my first class which was a workshop on query writing. The night before I had recieved a message from a friend that the class was going to be a workshop and to bring your query letter. Well as you know from the last post I have been working and pulling my hair out over my query. So I printed it off and put it in my bag for the next day.

After a short lesson on how to write a query, by Lisa Mangum from Deseret Book and Kirk shaw from Covenant. They asked for victims and I raised my hand. Lisa read MY query out loud to the class and after reading the pitch (three paragraphs) she stopped and said that she wanted to see the book. (I hope shes not kidding because I'm sending her a submission on Monday.) They suggested a few small cosmetic changes which I have done, but otherwise they liked the query. When I talked to Kirk Shaw after the class just to clarify the genre he also asked me to submit it to Covenant.

My heart pounded the rest of the day and I couldn't wait to share the good news with my friends. I had the feeling that I was going to make some connections and I was right. I am so blessed.

While I am bennifiting from being at the right place at the right time doing the right thing, I must thank those who helped me with this query, and MS.

Paulette Inman, best friend forever and plotter/what if extroidinare, for being my sounding board for the re-write of the query and the MS.
Tristi Pinkston, editor extroidinare, for the grammar edit on the blurb.
Amie Borst, new friend and awesome critter, for the outside "don't know a thing about the book" query critique.
And lastly my anonymous editor and good friend (you know who you are) for the undying, completely unselfish, editing work you did on my MS. Not only does it shine, it ROCKS!
P. S. Angie Lofthouse, my bloggy and Facebook friend, thanks for watching Eli for a few minutes too! What a lifesaver.

I had a blast and I came home reafirming that I work in an awesome career with awesome people.

How about this?

I have been working on pulling my hair out, I mean my query. (did I say that out loud?) While the old one was subtle and vague but had voice I needed to give more information. So here is the new version hopefuly with a little voice remaining.


Corporate assassin, Antony Danic, has never killed an innocent man—until now.

During a dinner with friends, Antony realizes that his last assigned hit was a mere preacher. When his assignments start to resemble personal agenda, instead of corporate espionage, he realizes what he thought was reality, is a lie. Just weeks before, while on vacation, Antony received a death threat from a fellow employee. It appeared that the corporation was unhappy with his performance on his previous hit. Even though he hoped it was just posturing from corporate, he began to re-think his safety, and his employer’s integrity.

When Antony botches a hit, by causing the destruction of an international space cruiser filled with a mysterious cargo, his carefully woven security net begins to unravel. And as he scrambles to find a safe way out of his employers "till death do us part" contract, he faces the decision of his life: continue with business as usual and kill another innocent man—or do what's right, even if it puts his family in jeopardy.

moving on . . . moving up?

With the last rejection I recieved, I have exhausted all of the little indie publishers in my area. I'm really sad about this, I was seriously hoping to make it in this little niche market. Something homey and safe. Someplace that would understand my specific cultural needs and expressions.

What is bothering me the most is what is left for me to choose.

The national market.

To be honest it scares me literally out of my boots. Am I good enough? Is my book good enough? While my last rejection said my MS was promising they passed on it. What does that say about me and my writing? The next move for me is to send the Ms out to the few places that still accept unsolicited works and then try to find an agent. There are thousands of them out there, but less then 200 that represent my genre. What if i submit this MS to all of them and no one likes it? Where do I go from there? Do I start another story? Do I even bother?

I have discovered I have a yeller streak a mile wide across my back and it disturbs me. Scared enough that I have literally sat on my polished MS for weeks and not done a thing. The query process is daunting to me and quite confusing. I want to just run and hide. So much for being brave and adventerous.

Yet, I want to see this book series in print its a darn good story if I have any say. I have had a professional Editor look at it and they like it, my readers like it and I have worked darn hard on it. I guess what I am saying is if its worth anything at all I'll just have to get over this streak and do what needs to be done. Inspite of being yeller.

Story Structure and writing synopsis

I have a friend who is entering a publishers open submission period. We were talking about the submission process. The problem with this submission is that instead of the traditional two paragraph blurb about your story, in a traditional Query, and a one-four page synopsis. They want a two-three sentence blurb, and a three paragraph synopsis.

I was in shock for a few moments. It's hard enough to summarize a 300-600 page book in a few pages. But to do it on three paragraphs!!!!!!?????

The guidelines intrigued me, so I thought I'd tackle the problem myself as a challenge, especially if I ever need to do the same thing.

After an evening staring at the guidelines I was beyond frustrated. Three paragraphs is just not enough to properly describe a complex story. Then I had the epithany.

"Story Structure." Doh! I almost smacked my head with my palm.

What are the most important parts of the story?
The introduction.
Plot Point #1, along with the reactive stage.
The mid point and the active stage.
Plot point #2
And Resolution.

Now the idea became clear. Use the important parts of story story structure to write your three paragraphs of synopsis.

So I sat down and in three sentences I wrote the two main plotlines and a sentence to draw them together.

Then I wrote one paragraph about the characters and thier desires and inner demons.

The second paragraph I wrote the first plot point, the reactions, and the midpoint.

The third paragraph I wrote plot point #2 and the resolution making sure I told them the end of the story.

I couldn't believe how easy it was once I applied "Story Structure" to what I needed. I'm in shock at what my knowledge of "Story Structure" has done to my wirting. I know I probably sound preachy but I am sold. It has changed everything I know about writng. Try it for yourself, I promise you wont be disapointed.