Saturday, December 29, 2007

Some of you may have noticed...

That I have switched DD2 Foxproof and DD3 Awaiting. In the process of plot revision I realized that Foxproof happened too soon, and Awaiting needed to happen before any reader knew much about Dalton T. Fox. So i changed the order of the books and then realized that Awaiting which centers around Lyris Standing needed to be from her POV, so not only did I change the order but the POV of DD2. I was a little surprised but pleased with the changes. It will be a good thing, I know it in my gut, and if living with Noble in my head for so long has taught me anything, it is to trust your gut.


I have also fleshed out the spiritual side of the yoga that Noble uses in his world and changed some of the names and created my own Center Points (chakras).

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Did you know I am a writer?

I heard a joke a while ago that when you are a writer you have to let everyone know so you can talk about your books with them....
"I'd like a quarterpounder with cheese and did you know I'm a writer?" was how it went.

Well everyone around me knows that I write, I don't do it on purpose but I end up telling everyone. Well today it might have paid off. My biological mom has read the first few chapters of my work in progress and loves it. Well she has a friend who is a publisher for a small publishing co. in Ut. He mainly deals with non fiction, but my mom told him about my MS and how much she liked it. He asked her when she could get him a copy of it.

So here I go today to the Post Office with a 334 pg. printed copy of my MS now polished till it shines! (dont even ask me how stupid my printer was being last night!)

I am taking a deep breath and walking out the door as soon as I hit send.

Wish me luck!!!

Saturday, December 22, 2007

One more thing...

This Christmas vacation I am spending my time polishing my MS and then at the begining of the year I will be sending it to agents and publishers. Yes I am sweating. This is really going out on a limb for me.

For those who commented and helped me with my query pitch THANK YOU!

I have decided that #1a was the best one for my query.

SO....Here is the winning pitch.

1a)
For years Commander Antony Danick's destiny has laid dormant. All his life, he has trained and worked for the Corps, becoming their most renowned assassin. But, having grown discontent with serving under Derek Jensen's thumb, Antony fakes his death and changes his name and appearance, awaking Destiny's untold prophecy. Now Caledonia's prophet is growing old, and his tenure is coming to an end. Surely Destiny has chosen the least likely person to succeed him in leading the people. A reformed assassin as the new prophet? Only Destiny knows what lays in store for the people of Caledonia with the former Corps sniper at the helm.

Michelle

I probably wont be on for a few days.

But untill I am MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

Lots of love for all of you!
Michelle and Noble

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

I am a slider...

What is a slider you say? A slider is a person that, with thier own personal energy, effects electrical things. I can't wear a watch it falls out of time. I can't keep my cell phione in my pocket, I drain the battery. In my bag is fine. And... I turn on and off the streetlights around me. That is where I have the most influence. Now I know that when I am mad I influence them more.

Case in point. Friday evening I found out my 15 yo had done some really stupid things and I was pissed. That evening when my DH and I went out to dinner all of the street lights were turning on and off around me. I laughed after I noticed the first 10 or so. The lights proceded to go on or off the whole time I was out, but my mood lightened at the revelation that when I am mad it happens more.

Still... My DH doesnt belive me and I assume that it is because he is a sceptic and a realist, oh well.

So if you see the street lights going on and off alot it might be safe to assume that I am not happy. :)

Monday, December 17, 2007

Nows you're chance to vote!!!!!

Ask me to write a 400 pg novel and I'd do it willingly. Ask me to summarize that book in an attractive paragraph to sell it to an agent and I'd rather die. It is query time, and after what Jessica said (At Bookends LLC)I have worked on the pitch(s) for a week. This is what I have come up with so far, five seperate pitches. Read them and tell me if any of them work. If none work, or if there are phrases in each of them that combined will work better. If any of you can do better I'll eternaly owe you something. (There is a small gift for anyone who can write a better one.) So read and post away. Please give me the reasons you like one over the others if you can...

(I have revised the paragraphs. So if you think that the post seems to be changing... it is. :) )


1)
For years Commander Antony Danick's destiny has laid dormant. All his life, he has trained and worked for the Corps, becoming their most renowned assassin. But, having grown discontent with serving under Derek Jensen's thumb, Antony fakes his death and changes his name and appearance, awaking Destiny's untold prophecy. For over a century now, a dark entity has threatened Antony's ancestors and only those that have faithfully followed the prophet of their land have lived in the face of this relentless power. Now Caledonia's prophet is growing old, and his tenure is coming to an end. Surely Destiny has chosen the least likely person to succeed him in leading the people. A reformed assassin as the new prophet? Only Destiny knows what lays in store for the people of Caledonia with the former Corps sniper at the helm.

1a)
For years Commander Antony Danick's destiny has laid dormant. All his life, he has trained and worked for the Corps, becoming their most renowned assassin. But, having grown discontent with serving under Derek Jensen's thumb, Antony fakes his death and changes his name and appearance, awaking Destiny's untold prophecy. Now Caledonia's prophet is growing old, and his tenure is coming to an end. Surely Destiny has chosen the least likely person to succeed him in leading the people. A reformed assassin as the new prophet? Only Destiny knows what lays in store for the people of Caledonia with the former Corps sniper at the helm.

2)
Sori Katsu's tenure as the Prophet of Caledonia is coming to an end, and destiny has chosen the least likely individual to succeed him. All Corps assassin Antony Danic wants to do is to have a quiet normal existence away from his commander Derek Jensen and his former life. He becomes Noble Standing, by faking his death. This decision, sets in motion the plan that destiny has had for him since before he was born. But a former assassin as a religious leader? Only Destiny knows what lays in store for the people of Caledonia with the former Corps sniper at the helm.

3)
As one mans desire for a normal quiet life takes him from Antony Danic the corps assassin, to Noble Standing teacher, he catches Destiny's attention. Sori Katsu's tenure as Prophet is coming to an end. Enemies of the church have repeatedly tried to kill this quiet leader of the Caledonian religion; one of these days they might succeed. It seems that Destiny has chosen the least likely individual to take Katsu's position. A Prophet with a gun? Not even Destiny knows what lays in store for the people of Caledonia with the former Corps hit man at the helm.

4)
Antony Danic, The Corps’ most renowned Sniper and munitions expert, has the perfect job. Or does he? Destiny definitely has other plans for him. He fakes his death to get out from under his Commanders thumb. Changing his name to Noble Standing, and his looks to keep his former identity dead. Caledonia’s Prophet is growing old and his tenure is coming to an end. Surely Destiny has chosen the least likely individual to succeed him. A reformed assassin as the new prophet? Only destiny knows what is in store for the people of Caledonia with a former Corps sniper at the helm.


Michelle

Monday, December 10, 2007

Revelation...

Sometimes hindsight is 20/20... this is one of those times.

I turned a MS into Penguin/Amazon, a few months ago. I feel that it is a good MS and worthy of consideration for publication. However, a few weeks ago I picked up a book called the Yoga Bible from the library. There is a wealth of information in it about the spiritual side of Yoga. As I was reading the book I had an apostrophy. I have created a spiritual side of the training that my agents recieve. It's been like an accidental foreshadowing, the stuff that I read afterwards and say COOL! I did that?

Now my brain is churning, I am wanting to flesh out the small snippets of where Noble is training Lyris and add some of this "spiritual stuff" to deepen the story and characters. Add some internal dialogue from Lyris to give the reader more insight to her character. And create a "sprirtual/martial arts system" much like fantasy writers create a magic system or SF writers world build.

So my desire is now one of two things; that my MS doesnt make it into the finals so I can re-work it, or that if it makes it into the final round, that I have a willing editor that will let me deepen the MS and make it better. WHEW! that isn't much to ask is it? GRIN!

Michelle

Friday, December 7, 2007

I think she liked it....

Jessica an agent at Bookends LLC offered to critique anyones query pitch for free. So of course I jumped on. A free critique? anyone who didnt was crazy. As #65 I have waited for weeks for her to get to mine. Checking the blog everyday to see when it would be up. I knew that I was in the next five for a few days and have been going crazy...
This morning I checked and sure enough there was my name and my Pitch. I'll post it here:

Dominion Day 106,000 word SF novel

There’s got to be more to life than being a high paid assassin.
I mean, I am taking peoples lives. That can’t be the best thing.
Even if the pay is good, it doesn’t make up for living around Commander Jensen.
I could resign…
If I resigned, Jensen would still be a thorn in my side.
However, if he thought I was dead....

Antony Danic, the Corps most renowned sniper, and munitions expert has the perfect job. Or does he? Destiny has other plans for him. He fakes his death to get out from under his commander’s thumb. Changing his name and his looks to keep his former identity dead. As Noble Standing, he begins to make decisions that change him from the coarse devil may care bad boy, to the honorable good guy that the prophecies foretell about him.

One man begins to find and fulfill his destiny.

Another case of a pitch turned query letter. Much too long. I would skip the opening lines altogether. They don't endear me to your work. The paragraph beginning with Antony Danic is good. Much better, anyway, and that’s really your pitch. Of course you also need to rewrite that last sentence. Now that he’s changed his name and looks, what is his conflict? It seems to me that’s already solved by the beginning of the book. He hated his job so he quit. What happens next? Oh, and skip your final line. Too vague.

So I have to tweak it a little, big deal. She liked it and I am happy.
Michelle