Something realy funny.

Querytracker.net had a contest to celebrate thier second year on the web. The last contest called for people to create the worst query they could. I couldnt resist and sat down this afternoon to write it. If only real querys were this easy to write. LOL

Dear agent who I forget your name,
I am sending this letter to reveal my previously unrecognized writing genious to you. You are touching the same paper that your next blockbuster author has previously handled. Consider yourself privlidged. As you will see, my mother and all of the neighbors that I have wrangled into reading my manuscript (by force or bribery) thinks it is the greatest thing since. . . the invention of the printing press.
Alana Dove is a newely divorced young woman witha dream. A child of hippies, she picks herself up after her white collar doctor husband leaves her for someone with a brain. Determined to make it on her own after swearing off men she opens a "water yoga" studio only to find no one else can hold thier breath as long as she can.
Forlorn and homeless she meets up with "Mikey", a biker dude that gives her a ratty couch to sleep on untill she either gets her feet under her or some common sense. Will it be love at first ride? Or will she find the intelligence to make a comeback on her own? Only the reader will know.
"Dove's Dude" is a fiction novel of 53,546 words. And if you dont pick it up you will be kicking yourself like the agents who didnt sign JK Rowling or Stephehie Meyer.
I have been writing for the last 6 months and am pleased to find that my inborn tallent surpasses those of Nora Roberts and Stephen King.
I am the "mother" of 4 birds, one quaker parakeet named Archie who plucks her feathers, I think it is from lack of attantion, proper light and nutrition. My two finches named after the main characters in my favorite anime are so sweet all they do is mate and sing. My Cocatiel is the nicest hissing bird I know, i'll bring her to our meetings in the future. She only bites if you hold her and she is getting better at not pooping all over. Oh, and I have a turtle, and I had a salamander but he disapeared and I havnt found him yet. Probably under the couch again.
I still live in my parents basement but plan on moving out when i get that really huge advance you are goiing to give me for my amazinf novel.
I'll be waiting for your hurried response by sitting on the front lawn by the mailbox. I'll be the one in the cutoffs and tube top in the pink and duck tape lawn chair with a margarita and my lap top.
Have an awesome "Dove's Dude" day.
(Please hurry with my acceptance letter. My mom is on my case again about getting a real job.)
Seriously,
Sally Scribner

A new theme song?

I know that "Unwritten" by Natasha Beddingfield is very much a writers theme song. In fact I have often wondered if who ever wrote the song had any idea the impact it has on those of us who are writers.

However my daughter pointed out this song and I believe, at least for me, the lyrics have more impact on me than "Unwritten".


The Climb by Miley Cyrus

I can almost see it.
That dream I'm dreaming, but
There's a voice inside my head saying
You'll never reach it
Every step I'm takin'
Every move I make
Feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin'
But I gotta keep tryin'
Gotta keep my head held high

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes might knock me down, but
No I'm not breaking
I may not know it, but
These are the moments that
I'm gonna remember most
I've just gotta keep goin', and
I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on, but

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on movin'
Keep climbin'
Keep faith baby
It's all about, it's all about
The climb
Keep the faith, keep your faith, woah

It's been a day. I have a headache as the adversary again tries to tell me I'm no good at writing. I promise I will finish the story of how I became a writer perhaps tomorrow. But today I am soothing my own soul with music that calms me and makes me feel good. So here it is: Breath by Breaking Benjamin.

How I Became a Writer. Part 3

With one manuscript finished I opened another short story called Foxproof and started re-writing it. This one was more my style with agents and bad/good guys. (not that I didn't love Amalathea, still do and will definately rework it at a later date.) I started to write it and as I would hit a wall or get bored with it I started more stories. Within a few months I had a few completed rough drafts and a few more stories started.

After a few months I decided to pull out my old MS, (Dominion Day)the one I wrote in High School. This was definately a favorite of mine. But a challenge since the origional storyline was actually very simple. With the other story's finished, I sat down with the origional MS and the partial rewrite I did after HS and began to write the story out.

Now, the origional story was supposed to be two books a present the problem and solve the problem set of books. I couldn't immagine something longer than that. The first story was of a guy and girl who are agents they marry and have kids. The second about thier kids after the couple die.

Well, about halfway through the book, a scene appeared in my head where my main character got religion. This scene literally turned the book upside down. It went from a 2 book set to a 5 book series. With the change in my character the story became much more complex. Scenes popped in my head like popcorn and there were a few days where I wrote 20 + pages a day.

About this time I was in church and they started asking if anyone had good news. I kept feeling I should tell them about my finished manuscripts. So after battling with my inner voice that was insisting that I say something I did. After Relief Society, (a church meeting) A woman aproached me as I waited to leave the classroom. she introdouced herself and said that she was interested in writing and wanted to talk sometime. It took a few months to actually talk but we hit it off on New Years Eve. We have been best friends ever since. We exchange writing talk about plot, and characters. We found out about the LDStorymakers conference and went to it together.

She was the first validation that what I had, inspite of the grammar problems, was good work. She also worked with me on those grammar problems and helped me develop a thick skin for critiquing.

So as my friend and I continued our writing careers together, the MS's I was working on began to evolve and become pieces of work that were slowly becoming better.

How I Became a Writer. Part 2

Okay, so while all of my writer ideas were collecting dust on a shelf in my brain. (no I don't dust, too many allergies) I was telling my children stories and thinking I should dabble in the realm of childrens books. I wrote a few but they would be shelved as soon as they were finished.

One morning I was watching an early morning news show. They were interviewing an author and the author said that if you want to be a writer every sentence must be completely new and have never been read before. Talk about a load of mind blowing discouragement. It was those words that rattled in my brain everytime I had an idea come up or the desire to write. I basically talked myself out of ever writing again.

I was busy with a family and volunteering work so the writing bug was sated for a while. (This is the part where Harry Potter comes in) We moved from Provo to Tooele and I was left w/o any volunteer work to do, and no friends. I found the library and dove into the world of reading to pass my time. I hit a point that there were no more books that were appealing to me and I had just finished Harry Potter #5 and was waiting on pins and needles for #6 to come out.

There were no books in the house or Library that I hadn't read. (that I wanted to read, I didn't read the whole library) So I pulled out my two old folders and bag of my old writing and began to read them to pass the time. I pulled out a 12 page story called "The Secret of Amalathea" and read it. As I finished the small exerpt that I had written a long time ago the world of Amalathea opened up in my mind and I thought "I can work on this, I can finish the story." So I sat at the old computer and with my limited four finger typing I wrote 101,000 words before I typed "The End". Thus a very ameturish writer was born again.

How I Became a Writer.

It actually started in fifth grade when I found a collection of short science fiction stories in ny school library. I checked them out over and over again. I decided, at that time, I wanted to write stories just like that myself. Add to that a really old annime called "Battle of the Planets" and I was sold on the scifi genre.

I was enamored by what I now know as the character based sci fi so much so I created my own scenes with the established characters in my head. When I was in high school I met a freind who had written a 300 page novel. (Loved the book still do.) I decided if she could do it I could too and a writer was born. I started as a sophomore and finished the 189 page handwritten book just a few days before summer break my junior year. The book was based LOOSELY on the anime I loved so much as a kid.

Forward a few years and I began to re-write that book in my extreemely rare free time. I learned many things as I re-wrote it. Still not enough to really write a publishable book but I was begining to really be a writer.

Then I got married and had three kids in seven years. Writing was put on hold as I raised my kids. Add two more kids in that span of fifteen years and needless to say I read a ton of books but did not work on my own writing at all.

Everything changed about five years ago. I blame Harry Potter, but I'll let you decide.

Priorities. . .

I have had my eyes opened, so to speak. I have been spending so much time on the internet just surfing that I am not writing. Yet to efficently market your book and make yourself appealing to publishers you should be well connected. This is quite a quandry, and in the wake of it, I have decided to do a few things. One, I will not leave my blog, (the last time I closed it I lost TONS of readers). Two, I will still remain on Facebook and Twitter. Just not as much. Third I will still read the blogs and hit the sites I deem important but again not as much.

Why? You ask? Because I am a writer. I need time to write, or edit, or market. I have dropped the ball and my other MS's are just sitting there. I am also planning on making it a priority to post here Monday's Wednesday's and Friday's. You'll still hear from me I promise. I'd like to have a theme on the days but I am afraid that if I pidgeon hole myself I will dry out the Muse. So we'll see. But rest asured I will talk more about why I write and what I am doing with my current works. I also have a STACK of books I need to review and I think I'll do those on Fridays.

So, look for me but assume if i'm not here I am writing. :)