Monday, March 31, 2008

AHHHHHHHH Peanut butter......

Friday night my Dh and I wnt to a little cafe for a date. The service was awful and the food mediocre, but I enjoyed part of it, I was able to order a Butterfinger shake and eat it. You see I'm no longer nursing and I am not pregnant. The two reasons I can't eat peanut butter. I took advantage of the fack that I was not with my little one to wean him cold turkey. Some of you may think that it is mean but this baby didn't just nurse for 5 minutes and take off like my 7 year old did. No he had to nurse for 20 minutes, and then come back 15 min later to nurse again for another 20 min. Or if he was frustratred or hurt or sad...... Needless to say I was nursing him ALL day and at least two times a night. Another problem with this baby was he refused to allow me to do anything while nursing, if I typed he'd hit the keyboard with his foot, read, he'd knock the book to the ground, use my mouse, he'd pop off and demand my attention. I have, for the last year, accomplished nothing.

Dont get me wrong I love nursing, I am a breastfeeding advocate and peer councelor, but after a year of getting nothing done all day I was getting frustrated, I develop what is called Nursing agitation at about 17-20 months of nursing. I strugle with it for months as the food allergy self argues with the nurturer, and the breastfeeding advocate, and the peer counselor and the homemaker and the mother of my child. Finally we all come to an agreement that this is better for everyone.

I'm happy to be able to do some things I have needed to do for a long time. Afterall I nursed him for 20 months, that is almost 2 years!!!!!

I have nursed 6 children for over 5 years. I think I have done well.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Sorrow......

I just found out yesterday that my neice, my brothers little girl has leukemia. It leaves me so speechless. I don't know what to say except that I'm heartbroken for my neice, her parents and their other two boys. She was hospitalized a few days ago and was diagnosed with Acute Mylelogenous Leukemia yesterday. By friday she had recieved numerous blood draws two marrow samples, and surgery for a shunt in her chest. Today was her first chemotherapy treatment.

I can't imagine what my brother and wife are feeling or thinking at this moment. This will be a 4-5 yr. intense experience that they are just begining. Not to mention that the ramifications are life long. I read that 75% of those with AML reach complete remission. I want to focus on the 75% but that 25% looms so huge in my head.

If you are so inclined, please offer a prayer to the Almighty in their behalf. I know we would all appreciate it.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

First or Third what do you think...

I had this awesome idea for a romance, and as I sat down at the computer I started to write in first person. But in a romance there is usually two MC's the two that fall in love through the book. Well to get to my point there are rules in writing and one is that you can't have two points of view in first person. So I have attached the first pages of my romance in first and in third. please tell me which one you like, I am frustrated, I feel the first is more emotional but I don't know.

First Person....
“Smack!” the sound echoed off the aluminum buildings, over the constant noise of the small plane engine. My eyes saw the shadow as the bird streaked over the driver’s side of the truck. Then the noise of an explosion startled me out of my reverie and into the extremeness of the present. I saw the body hit the ground first then the head as it bounced twice a few feet away. I gasped as I sat up straighter, looking at the snow covered tarmac in the brightness of the January morning.
As I fought the urge to loose the pitiful breakfast I had shoved down my unwilling throat that morning as we rushed out of the house, I looked at the body of the bird that had been decapitated in front of me and felt even sicker. The mottled gray feathers the only thing moving in the air currents of the prop. Its black eye stared at me the hooked bill, still now... A falcon... I thought, how horrible. That incident, I know now was an omen. Something I shouldn't have ignored. Just as I shouldn't have ignored the feeling of unease that appeared in my unsettled stomach as I watched my husband take off into the clear blue skies in his plane.
I watched the plane until it disappeared into the horizon and then pulled the truck onto the main road and headed to the airport where I would meet him in two hours to refuel. I slid my Linkin Park CD in the player, and enjoyed the drive. The baby was asleep by the time I pulled onto the small road that led to the airport. I didn't argue with not feeding him or changing him at the moment. It had been a long day for us. Up at the crack of dawn the grueling hours long ride to the airport the two hour drive to the next airport and of course the falcon. Garret was there as I pulled in, he was checking the wing assembly as I parked by him.

Third Person....
“Smack!” the sound echoed off the aluminum buildings, over the constant noise of the small plane engine. Her eyes saw the shadow as the bird streaked over the driver’s side of the truck. Then the noise of an explosion startled her out of her reverie and into the extremeness of the present. She saw the body hit the ground first then the head as it bounced twice a few feet away. She gasped and sat up straighter, looking at the snow covered tarmac in the brightness of the January morning.
As she fought the urge to loose the pitiful breakfast she had shoved down an unwilling throat that morning as they rushed out of the house; she looked at the body of the bird that had been decapitated in front of her and felt even sicker. The mottled gray feathers the only thing moving in the air currents of the prop. Its black eye stared at her, the hooked bill, still now...
A falcon... she thought, how horrible. That incident, she know now was an omen. Something she shouldn't have ignored. Just as she shouldn't have ignored the feeling of unease that appeared in her unsettled stomach as she watched her husband take off into the clear blue skies in his plane.
She watched the plane until it disappeared into the horizon and then pulled the truck onto the main road and headed to the airport where she would meet him in two hours to refuel. She slid her Linkin Park CD in the player, and enjoyed the drive. The baby was asleep by the time she pulled onto the small road that led to the airport. She didn't argue with not feeding him or changing him at the moment. It had been a long day for them. Up at the crack of dawn the grueling hours long ride to the airport the two hour drive to the next airport and of course the falcon. Garret was there as she pulled in, he was checking the wing assembly as she parked by him.

Monday, March 24, 2008

LDStorymakers conference

Well I didn't win any contest, but I had a good time. I did get some real good critiques on my entries. It will definatly help me in my work. I also found out through my mistake that I'm still in consideration for the compilation book I submitted to earlier. I can be such a dork sometimes. Just chalk it up to inexperience I guess.

At the conference I attended a session called boot camp where I read and recieved crit's for my work. I read one and recieved some good input and compliments from an author that is extremely thorough and picky. I was elated, they liked my work. They laughed at the segment which I intended to be funny. I'm so excited, I have worked on my MS SOOOOOOO HARD!!!!!!

I also got to spend time with my best friend. This was a good weekend. :)

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Numbers and presumptions.

So this is my 116+1 th post. With the exception of four people, that number will mean nothing to any of you. Unfortunaltely, it causes serious tension in one of the aforementioned four. I have often wondered why, the mention of 16+1 makes them so agitated. Sure it was a serious thing in the persons past but they have SOOOOOO moved on since then. Infact thier "record" has been beaten a few times now.

My reason for this post is because I care, I seriously wish that they can somehow move on and be able to accept that the past is the past. I wish for peace in their life and the knowledge that I love them very dearly.

I am left handed and have horrible handwriting which I get teased about constantly. Yes I get frustrated about it but I also accept that it is me, it is in my genetics and is something I can't change. Do all left handers have bad handwriting? No.
Do all right handers have nice handwriting? Of course not. Why do we label others because of who they are, or what they have done or do?

Everyone is just human. We are all flesh and blood, we all live breathe and love.

After all, "They are just stars."

I am officially freaking out.

Tomorrow is the begining of the LDStorymakers conference. As usual I was thinking it started at a diferent time than it does. I have to be in Sandy at 7:30 tomorrow morning, it is a three hour drive for me. That means I have to either leave here at 3:30 tomorrow morning or I have to go tonight and find a hotel. Can I say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????????

That isn't the reason I am really freaking out, Saturday I will find out whether I placed in the first chapters contest. I admit that I am hopefull aspecially after taking third place in the Ltue short story contest. Either way I know I worked my hardest on those first chapters. They will be better "hooks" for my effort.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I feel bad for my printer.

I really do. If printers had feelings I'm sure they'd want to go to a nice home where they are used for fun things like research reports and the occsional sign up form for school or church. All they would have to do is lay around and really do very few things and be apreciated greatly. Printers are very usefull, they'd think, and my family loves me.

Not so with my printers, if they aren't getting little grimy fingers thrust in thier insides, I abuse them and then throw them away. Take yesterday for example. It was the first day my new printer and my new lap top got to meet and how do I celebrate? Well first I printed 9 copies of 6 writing examples of 3 pages each. 9X6X3=162 pages. Then 2 pages 2 times for a class I'm taking on saturday. I printed some buisnes cards and then I got down and dirty. I printed my whole MS all 388 pages and then a 72 pg MS that I am working on, not to mention another min of 15 random pages of book notes. All in one day. :)

So to my current printer and those of my past and future I apollogise, your life is hard, but I'm thankful. Perhaps one day, one of you will print off that ONE MS that makes me famous.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

New screen, will edit.....

So yesterday my hubby installed my new LED for my laptop. (THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!) I am proud to say that it is working and I am again on my lap top instead of my desk top. The problem with my desktop is that it's OS is Windows 98 se. It is SO SLOW and to use anything such as a USB storage unit you have to go on the slow internet and download the drivers. My new printer won't even load so I havn't been able to print anything for boot camp for the conference until tomorrow. I will be printing like crazy for a few days. After I have the materials for BC I will resume my interrupted work, my last edit on my book Dominion Day. I have revised the thing more than 6 times. After this I think I will be beating a dead horse. So as much as I promise to blog, my book has my attention as I try to polish it for submission. Wish me luck ehe?

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

My DD will kill me but i had to share.

I found this poem on the desk top I love it! I am so proud of her she is such an awesome writer.

The Rain Dance By laurel Jefferies

The clear droplets pour down around me
Steam rises as it hits the ground
A smell so profound
It washes the world clean
The cool rain falls around me
Wetting me to the core
I look up and move my arms
I spin then dip close to the ground
Water gathers around my feet
I leap and it splashes my face
The water falls back around me

I have Dropped the Ball

Totally and completely. I apologise to my readers I was on such a roll when I had that rollover accident. Since then there have been DR appointments phone calls with the insurance agency and car shopping. But that isn't all... I had started my intense read everything out loud final edit of my first book and things were going well. MY Dh came home Friday night and asked me for a phone #, he tossed me the phone and the phone bounced out of my hands and shattered the LED screen on my not even two month old lap top. I am so lost without my lap top and working on this desktop is really dificult. I know I am spoiled. I recieved the new LED today but DH is out of town untill friday. :( So until then I apologise, (I have a list of ideas to blog about).